The Real Reason You’re Always Late

As I pulled up to the stop light, I shot him a quick text.  ‘Sorry, running late.  Be there in 5 minutes’.

I wish I could say it was the first time I was late for a meeting, but it wasn’t.  Truth is, I often struggle with making it on time.  Maybe you do, too.

Most of the time, whoever we’re meeting up with doesn’t mind.  And we don’t think much about it, either.

But deep inside we’re a little bit unsettled about it.  Why does this keep happening?  Can’t I get my act together?  And what does being late say about me?

In this post, let’s talk about the real reasons we’re five (or however many) minutes late and why being five minutes early can make all the difference in the world.

You’re Not Alone

Just to be clear, if you’re one of those chronically late people, I’m not beating you up.  It’s a common problem:

• about 1 in 5 Americans is late for work at least once a week
• American CEOs are late to 8 out of 10 meetings
• fun(?) fact: showing up to work 10 minutes late each day is the equivalent of taking an extra week’s vacation each year
• I couldn’t find statistics about being late to church, but suffice it to say it’s common

So we’re all in this together.

More Complex Than We Think

So before I started this post, I figured lateness was fairly straightforward.  But that’s because I was looking at it through my own grid.

It turns out that there are 3 primary types of people who are late:

• the deadliner – loves the rush of the last minute and claims to do best under pressure.  A crisis (even if self-induced) motivates this type of person to get things done, and, sometimes relieves their boredom.
• the producer – wants to get as much done in as little time as possible, so they (over)schedule themselves, not wanting to waste a single minute.
• the absent-minded professor – are naturally distractible and forgetful.  This type loses track of time, misplaces car keys, and forgets commitments.

There are four other types, two of which I think are worth mentioning quickly here:

• the rationalizer – never fully admits that s/he has a problem with being late;
• the indulger – struggles with basic issues of self-control

What About You?

Well, what about you?  Which of these characterize you?  If we want to move forward, we need to start by identifying where we’re struggling.

I’ll call myself out first.  I’m totally ‘the producer’.  I always tend to cram my agenda with more than I can possibly take on.  I feel good about myself when I’m accomplishing and getting things done.  Which sometimes makes me late.

Getting To The Heart Of The Matter

Most of the stuff you read online will address the issue with a bunch of tips.

Yeah, there are challenges outside of us.  Kids who throw up as soon as you buckle them into the car seat.  Your GPS promises to get you around the traffic jam and takes you to Hawaii.

But we know we’re part of the problem, too.  So let’s take a quick look at the above late types and brainstorm about some of the possible issues behind them.  As we see what’s happening, we can start to make progress.

• The deadliner – it’s not wrong to find the pressure of a deadline thrilling, but deadliners can overestimate their ability to get it all done on time.  Which is pride.  Also, in the time leading up to the deadline, other important people and tasks often get neglected or treated poorly.  That doesn’t seem to measure up to God’s call to love our neighbor as ourselves.
• The producer – God has called us work and be faithful in carrying out his agenda, but producers can find their value in…production.  Good day = I got a lot done.  But God says that our value comes in being known and loved by him, even if we totally failed.
• The absent-minded professor – genetics may be a contributing factor here (like ADHD), but there are ways to improve, especially with modern technology.  Are the professors among us willing to do the hard work of love and take the practical steps to improve?
• The rationalizer – Jesus’s work on the cross for us means there’s no condemnation, but we are called to faithfully confess our sins.  This can be hard to do when we keep failing in a certain area, but God’s mercies really can give us a fresh start each day (Lamentations 3:22-23).
• The indulger – when we take too much of God’s good gifts, the Spirit in us can produce self-control as we ask and take small, practical steps of restraint (Galatians 5:23).

Of course, it’s possible to struggle with our own unique cocktail of the above.  What does it look like for you?  The good news is that God loves to give the help we need.

One Simple Principle To Stop Being Late

Hopefully by now you’ve seen yourself here, both in the description of the problem, and, potential issues of the heart.

At the end of the day, the solution to this chronic problem may be pretty simple.  Sure, we should work on the issues going on inside of us, but God’s primary call to us is to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Would I want someone I’m meeting up with to be there on time?  Of course I would.  It means that I was important to the other person, that – at least on some level – they care about me.

So, that means I should be on time for them, which assumes I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen.  To be five minutes early instead of five minutes late as an expression of love.

Let’s live it out: If you struggle with being late, which profile(s) do you fit?  What heart issue(s) do you suspect may be behind that?