A couple I was to marry a week later asked me to preach on Ephesians 5:21-33, the passage I’ve come to view as Paul’s cheat sheet on marriage.
Paul’s call to husbands was simple enough, if not easy: love your wife as much as Jesus loves us. Oh, and be ready to lay your life down for her.
Of course, I wanted to say something to the bride, too. As I glanced over the passage, I noticed Paul’s instruction to wives:
‘Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord’. (Ephesians 5:22)
OK, I thought. But that doesn’t sound like the kind of feel-good message the bride – let alone the other women in the room – are expecting to receive. There had to be something – anything – else I could glean from the passage, right?
As I poured over the passage, though, I reached the unmistakable conclusion. There really was nothing else. Not in this passage, anyway. Paul could have said absolutely anything to wives and he said ‘submit’. Twice (see verse 24).
A Bigger Issue, An Important Choice
So, if we believe that the entire bible is ultimately written by God, we have a choice to make. We can say that there may be some significant mistakes (like this passage), but then we really can’t trust anything, including the parts that we do like.
The other option is to trust that God has preserved his word and, therefore, we can trust it. So, in this case, the question isn’t, ‘Should wives submit to their husbands?’, but rather, ‘how’?
What It Doesn’t Mean
I hate it when pastors skirt around thorny passages like this one. So don’t worry; I’m going to get to what Paul is saying.
But first, let’s talk about what he isn’t saying.
- First, he’s not saying women should submit to men in general. He’s saying a wife should submit to her husband.
- Second, he’s not saying women are in any way inferior to men. That’s shot down everywhere in the bible, perhaps most clearly in Genesis 1:27 and Galatians 3:28.
- Third, submission is something a woman chooses to do in deference to God, not something a man requires his wife to do. The command comes from God to wives.
- Finally, he’s not saying ‘do whatever your husband tells you’. If your husband asks you to do something that doesn’t square with biblical teaching, you can’t go along with him. When faced with a choice, we ‘must obey God rather than men’ (Acts 5:29).
So What Is God Saying?
Still, the question remains: what does Paul mean by telling wives to submit to their husbands?
In calling wives to submit to their husbands, God is saying that the husband has ultimate leadership and responsibility for the health and well-being of their marriage.
In part, this means that there will be occasions – hopefully rare – where a husband and wife disagree on some important issue. (We’re not talking Coke or Pepsi). They try to work it out, but can’t. If what the husband is suggesting is compatible with God’s Word, God is asking his wife to follow his lead. To submit.
As a quick example, after a move my wife, Sharon, and I had to find a new church. We visited several and, after lots of praying and listening, wound up having a different opinion on which was best for our family. Since we couldn’t come to a consensus, I asked her to follow my lead. (As a FYI, this was a rare occurrence, one of perhaps 5 in our 16-year marriage).
But that’s just part of what Paul has in mind, I think. Look at verse 33, the summary of what Paul says in our passage. ‘However, let each one of you [husbands] love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband’.
God – through Paul – gives husbands and wives different instructions because they’re… different. And not just anatomically. While we don’t want to stereotype and be overly rigid, in general men and women have different primary needs. Most men desire respect first and foremost, while most women would say the same of love.
So, submitting to your husband is largely to show him respect. To treat him as an equal made in God’s image (i.e., made like him). To let him know you appreciate him and what he accomplishes at work, in the home. And to avoid things that have the opposite effect.
This is so incredibly different than where we are as a culture. Think about our TV commercials and sitcoms, for example. If someone is portrayed as foolish or incompetent, it’s always the guy. The woman (or children), through her intelligence and moxy, is the hero. Sadly, this dynamic both reflects a trend that already exists, and, continues to perpetuate it.
Jesus Shows Us How To Submit
If this teaching seems hard – and it is – wives can take comfort in Jesus’s example. Although he was and is equal to God the Father, he showed his Father the kind of respect and deference we’re talking about.
This is probably most clear in his fervent prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. There, hours before his death, he asked the Father three times to avoid the cross, but always with a ‘nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done’ (see Luke 22:39-44).
Jesus, it turns out, is only asking wives – and husbands (see Ephesians 5:25-31) – to do what he has already done.
Making It Personal
I want to, very briefly, move this from the realm of theory to your everyday life as we close.
If you’re already a wife, do you respect your husband and communicate that to him? Are you willing to follow his lead when you have a disagreement?
If you’re not yet married, it’s so important to find a guy you can respect. My wife tells me that it’s natural for (some) women to wind up with a guy who will basically do what they want. It feels good for awhile, but turns out empty when you realize you need someone who has his own thoughts and opinions. A nice, passive guy might change later, but you can’t count on it. So, if you’re not married yet, do you need to move on from a relationship you’re in, or, change the kind of guy you’re looking for?
Sorry, but in a disagreement why should the man always get his way? Why can’t he lead in the areas he excels at and the wife lead in the areas she excels at? For example, lets say she is an accountant and he is a mechanic. They have a disagreement on something involving the finances (he wants a new toy for the garage, she says they NEED something fixed in the house). Why should he get his way and get the toy for the garage? This doesn’t fall into the realm of going against God, but if they were to do what you suggest, the husband would have a new toy in the garage while needed repairs would be pushed aside. In that example, she obviously is the appropriate one to lead. This example is all too common. And in your example above, why should you get to choose the church? If she felt more comfortable at the other one, then why would even want to drag her to some place she was not comfortable? Or why couldn’t you attend both bi-weekly? Instead she has to endure your preference just because your opinion somehow matters more?
If you were following the instruction to ‘love self-sacrificially’ as the very next line in that verse says, then you would sacrifice YOUR choice, and give her hers! If you were loving self sacrificially as you were supposed to, you would have went with HER choice of church. But since you still continued to exercise YOUR choice OVER hers you were not being loving self sacrificially! That line about loving as christ did doesn’t mean the 1 in 10000000000 chance you might encounter physical danger. It means DAILY laying down YOUR desires, to give your wife hers! THAT’S what she is supposed to submit to. Not your decisions! Not your supposed ‘authority’ but she is supposed to allow you to put her first. It deals with chivalry. You know, like if you pull out a chair, she should submit to your giving yourself and your own wants up for her sake. It has nothing at all to do with who gets the last say. That is only being selfish! YOUR command was to love SELF SACRIFICIALLY. Choosing your preference over hers was definitely NOT doing that! So how can you expect her to submit?
And leading should not come down to what’s between your legs and it doesn’t (or clearly women would not have leadership ability). Both spouses should lead in the areas they are the ones to excel at. Btw the word LEAD or leader is not actually used in relation to marriage. And head does not mean in charge of or authority over. And “help” is used more often to describe God – and God is most definitely not a subordinate to us right??
Wanda, thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to this post. I’m so glad you felt free to express your disagreement, and hope my readers will always feel free to lovingly challenge me so that we can all grow and learn.
First, I agree that wives and husbands should provide leadership in the areas where they’re most gifted. For example, my wife handles the logistics of balancing our finances because she’s way better at that!
Second, I want to make it clear that I don’t believe my (or that of men in general) matters more than my wife’s (or that of women in general). In the example of choosing a church, I asked her to follow my lead not because I liked my choice better, but because I saw some things that really concerned me after talking to the pastor at the other church. I felt that it would not be in my family’s best interests to go there, so I was trying to exercise my authority for the good of our family, not (I hope) for selfish reasons.
Third, I don’t think Paul’s teaching in Ephesians 5 is mainly about wives submitting to their husband’s decisions in matters of disagreement. It’s mainly about how marriages can reflect Christ’s relationship to us, his church (see especially v. 32). However, I do believe one of the implications of Paul’s teaching in verses 22-24 is that the husband does have the authority to make a final decision – with his family’s best interests in mind – in matters of disagreement. This should never, ever be done selfishly or without every effort to reach consensus. (Which means it should very rarely need to happen.)
Paul’s choice of language supports this way of interpreting the passage. By definition, the word ‘submit’ means to do something you don’t want to do. Also, the Greek word Paul uses for ‘head’ refers to a husband’s authority over his wife and not ‘origin’ or ‘source’. A husband is not the ‘source’ of his wife either physically or spiritually. In addition, in over 50 uses of the same word in Greek extra-biblical literature, when person A is said to be ‘head’ over person B, in each instance person A has authority over person B.
Wanda, thanks again for taking the time to engage with my post and share your thoughts. Although we probably won’t agree on everything, you’ve pushed me to think more deeply and biblically. I also realize that sometimes men (including me) have not used their authority well, and have given women every reason to be suspicious of how passages like this could be used in ways that are harmful to them. With God’s help, I hope husbands will do a better job of treating their wives like Jesus treats us.
Well we will obviously disagree. I do not believe that in a relationship of two, you can have one person always having last say in everything. As I said, in reality, this means your wife really has no say at all. Do you see why this is (logically speaking)? Because if she agrees with you, it was your decision anyway, and if she disagrees with you, you will just exercise your ‘authority’. The fact that she never gets any authority over any area as you (I imagine like others) believe that she is to submit always. So really logically speaking, the wife has 0% power. Meaning, none at all. I was actually born into Christianity, and I ended up leaving because of these verses. I am now Sikh, and Sikhism husbands and wives are fully equals to the point that they become ‘one soul in two bodies’. This does not require one person to entirely give up their will and ‘do what they don’t want to do’. My husband and I (both fully baptized Sikhs) have never gotten into a disagreement where we couldn’t solve it. Sometimes we walk away and come back, and if it ever did get to that point where we could not agree, we’d get a mediator. He would never expect me to do something I didn’t want to.
I was trying to get the point across that ‘Loving Self-Sacrifically’ as the very next line says, also means doing what you don’t want to. In fact both spouses should put the other first. But of course there will be disagreements as you are individuals. But giving one person full freedom to choose their choice over the other ALL the time, is wrong, and in my mind immoral. The only time I believe this is ok, is for a minor child, a mentally incapacitated person, or someone who forfeited their free will by commiting a crime and are convicted. You can say that both husband and wife are equal all you want, but without equality in practical works, then its just lip service as far as I am concerned. These verses very much speak of putting women in a subordinate and inferior position. You cant even say ‘role’ because a role is something someone does, not what someone is. And giving authority based on what someone had no control over, is giving privilege to men and basically punishing women for something they did not choose. I never chose to be female. I have excelled in positions of leadership (I have 20 years in the military and qualified as one of the first women to serve on submarines and I have male subordinates). To me, to say that just because I wasn’t born with the right ‘parts’ I have to forever be in a subordinate position and always be the one who has to do what I don’t want to while the other always gets his way just because he happened to be born with the right ‘parts’ I do not believe God would want this. Ultimately this caused me to leave Christianity altogether. I won’t come back. Through Sikhism I have found God, on a personal level. I am not held back in Sikhism as if my gender is a disability. (which is how I felt in Christianity). As a Sikh I can lead congregation in prayers (we have no actual clergy), I can perform kirtan (hymns), I can read from Guru Granth Sahib Ji in congregation, I can initiate/baptize others into the Khalsa (as I am fully baptized Sikh), there are no limitations. I feel free and like I can be who God designed me to be as a Sikh without feeling smothered and treated like my opinion and input does not count as much as a man’s. As I said, I felt that being born a female is treated as a disability in Christianity. I didn’t want to feel like that anymore. I was born with leadership abilities and to suppress them would be to rebel against who I am.
Going back to your example, what if your wife also had bad vibes about your choice? What if she had said to you, please trust her judgement? To say that you can not trust your wife’s judgement over yours means you do value your own more.
Anyway the idea of head as source does make sense if you believe in rib taken but used as a metaphor. But when applied to marriage it would be metaphor (parables) and not literal. I don’t think it was meant to be literal. Men usually are the ones to propose, in old days, women left their parents homes and moved to the husband’s. She had no property of her own. So the husband is the source of the marriage. He is also the one being called to be the FIRST (lead) in letting go of ego and laying down his desires and so called authority to elevate her. In other words the only thing he is supposed to lead is in “caving”.
I don’t believe it implies superiority. Think of those ephesians passages, the wife is being asked to give a whole lot more if interpreted the way you said don’t you think? The man has to love her – okay, are wives not to love their husbands??? – So if a woman submits to her husband why is that only one way but loving is both? That’s kinda skewed in the husbands favour don’t you think? The verse is about what the other GIVES. If you really understand that it’s saying to love SELF SACRIFICIALLY – to sacrifice is to give up. It’s not talking about the very very minute chance that you might have to ‘die’ physically to protect her. Every man jumps for joy believing that because they know it will likely never happen! Instead the metaphor is to DIE to YOURSELF and sacrifice your own wants and desires to make the other happy. That is the exact same meaning as Submitting. To submit IS to love self sacrificially and to love self sacrificially is to submit. The reason for the different wording? Psychology. Men were so used to controlling and domineering women, and now it’s saying to give up your authority and elevate her to your equal (as an equal heir) so you will be equal heirs together. But the huge psychology trick is in making men THINK it was their decision to give up their own desire to give her hers. That way they still feel like they are in control when they really have given it up and I think that is brilliant how it was done, even though I don’t follow Christianity anymore.
I challenge you to show me (since you prefer to interpret everything literally) where it says the man gets to make all the decisions for the both of them. I don’t recall any verse dealing with the idea of who gets final say in things. Even Jesus said he always spoke in parables. Please just look at the deeper meaning in this and the brilliant psychology it actually contains! By the way it starts with ‘Submit to one another’ and the rest is just continuing on anyway, so both are to submit to each other. It just uses language used to psychologically trick men into giving up their ego driven desire to control everything, while making them think it was their own choice to do so!
Though we disagree, I wish you well and Happy Christmas (since I can’t believe we are only few weeks away!)
I agree 100% with you
I’m really glad that I read both of you guys decides to this because I’ve just been researching this very conversation you see I had picked not such a good husband and he really twisted God’s word a lot and I’ve made a decision in my life to never be with another man again because as I was reading the scripture I kind of took it the same way she did and I was like when it seems to me that women really get the short end of the stick but they’re listening to the way you described it makes me a little more comfortable because over the years I’ve gotten to where I don’t have a lot of respect for men in general not that I hate them I just really struggle with this very concept but I’m trying to lead a godly life but for me I think staying single is best because it’s hard to find men who understand that concept but I really love the way you address this very openly it helps me to better understand that God is a loving God and it’s not all about punishment for women
Hi Georgia, thanks for reading and your thoughtful comment. I’m so sorry your husband misused God’s word and caused you so much pain. That’s awful. God is most certainly loving and that extends to the way he wants husbands and wives (all of us, really) to relate, even though it often doesn’t play out the way it should. May God bless you as you continue to live for him.
You sound nice, and I really appreciate it. I respectfully disagree with you that God loves and values women as much as men. The universal subjugation of women is written and celebrated in both testaments. To submit means to put yourself under a superior force. God created women to be less than men in every way. The imagery alone of husband representing Christ and a wife represents the sinful church. This same imagery is in the minor prophets except the husband represents God and the wife a disobedient Israel needing punishment of being publicly naked and r•ped. Women have to be silent in church and it’s a shame for them to speak in church. They can’t teach or have an authority over man because God made man first and woman second…….the less important one. Also Eve sinned first and was deceived and became a transgressor. Adam willfully sinned and also became a transgressor. It implies God make women dumber and in need of leading so they can be protected from their stupid selves.
The worst thing I ever did was read the Bible. God loves men and made women to be their toys aka help meet aka crowns.
Hi Heather, thanks for reading my article and leaving an honest response. I appreciate it when people express disagreement with respect.
You’ve brought up a lot of things, but I’ll make a few responses here. First, while I see that there are plenty of examples of men mistreating women in the bible, I don’t see those being ‘celebrated.’ For example, when King David commits adultery with Bathsheba and gets her pregnant – and then hides it – God confronts him through the prophet Nathan, and their child dies as a result. In addition, he disciplines David with ongoing consequences that we read about later. (See 2 Samuel 11 and following.)
Jesus, in particular, treated women very well, which was very countercultural for his time. He was close friends with Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus. He spoke directly to the woman at the well in public, which amazed his disciples because it was so rare and uncommon for men to speak to women in public in his day (John 4). He also had many other public interactions with women that are recorded in the gospels. In these interactions, Jesus speaks kindly and tenderly, for example, to the woman with the bleeding disorder (see Luke 8:48). Finally, after his resurrection, he first appeared to women (see, e.g., Matthew 28) – even before he appeared to his own male disciples.
But it’s not just Jesus who has a high view of women. The apostle Paul, for example, living just after Jesus, also had many interactions with women and treated them well. While his culture was different than Jesus’s, it, too, did not hold women in high regard. In Galatians 3:28, he explicitly says that men and women are equal because of their relationship to Christ.
While this probably just seems like how things ought to be – and it is – it would have shocked and surprised the people in Jesus’s and Paul’s time.
As for the passages you mention, I can see why they may seem to suggest women are inferior or viewed less favorably than men. I can’t begin to address the nuances of these passages here, but I don’t believe they teach what you fear they might. For example, while Ephesians 5 does call wives to submit to their husbands, and they are said to represent Christ, Paul also tells all Christians to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21) and clearly teaches that everyone – including men – are sinful (see Romans 3:23, e.g.) and need God’s grace. Finally, Jesus himself is portrayed as submitting to his Father’s will, most clearly at Gethsemane when, not wanting to go to the cross, he says, ‘Not my will, but yours (his Father’s) be done’ (see Luke 22:39-42, e.g.). So, whatever ‘submission’ means, it cannot imply that the one who submits is inherently of less value than the one we submit to, at least in God’s eyes.
In summary, Heather, I can see why you’d conclude the bible might teach that women are less valuable than men. Sadly, much of history – including church history – has reinforced that view. But there are many clues in the bible that suggest God views men and women as fully equal, and I hope I’ve at least shared a few things that may help you reconsider.
Paul gave list of punishments for the woman because of Eve’s sin( women to shut up, women have no authority over a man, women should never preach a man, women should submit to their husbands in everything, …..) but not even one punishment for the man to pay for Adam’s sin Actually, the man was blessed. As per Paul men will have authority, power, priesthood, became like Christ even if he is sinner, and get a gift of a slave and submitter and ….. Reminds me of the woman that caught in the act of adultery. They brought the woman to stone her but not the man. Paul is the lead in stoning only women. I don’t believe any of this is from God. Jesus said “let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone” and I don’t think any of you men including Paul is without sin.
Hi Hannah, thanks for taking the time to read and leave a comment. I appreciate that. Sorry my reply is slower, too – we were away.
You’re certainly right that no man (including me, of course) is without sin. The bible is clear that we are all equally in need of Jesus!
I also realize that many men have wrongly used Paul’s instructions to treat women poorly, which God (and I) never condones.
As for the passages you reference, in the one about the woman caught in adultery (John 8), Jesus stands with the woman and, gently but firmly, against the (male) Pharisees and scribes. He basically puts them and the woman on the same playing field, which they come to recognize and admit by walking away. In other words, the passage shows us that these religious leaders were being wrongly self-righteous. They should have addressed both the man and the woman, and in a humble way that acknowledged they, too, were sinners.
You also mention 1 Timothy 2:11-14. It’s a difficult passage, and I can see why it could look like Paul is singling out women because of Eve’s sin, yet letting men go despite Adam’s sin. For now, I’d just say that in other passages Paul is very clear in blaming Adam for his sin – and its catastrophic results – in Genesis 3. For example, in Romans 5:12-21, Paul blames Adam for all the sin, death and condemnation that entered the world and impacts us all. He doesn’t mention Eve there at all, even though she took the fruit first. This mirrors Genesis 3, where God holds Adam primarily responsible for the fall, which can be seen in that he looks for Adam first (see Genesis 3:9).
Finally, you briefly reference Ephesians 5:25-33 (wives submitting to husbands). In this case, Paul does not connect it to the fall, but rather to the way husbands and wives image Christ’s relationship to the church.
In any case, while there are some New Testament passages where Paul gives different instructions to men and women and/or husbands and wives, it is not because he – or other biblical authors – sees men and women as different with respect to sin, or, what they deserve because of it. These passages are also not intended to assign more value to men than women.
Instead, when we look at the New Testament as a whole, and Jesus’ life in particular, all authority is ultimately a call to love and serve like Jesus did. I hope that, with God’s help, Christian men will do better with this.
I’ve been reading your post and the comments and this only made me realize how TRUE Gods Words are and how the devil played such a big part in tearing the original design of God for marriage, with the specific roles to each husband and wife down. If we, as woman, are SO triggered by the Word of God (that is always true). We need to check ourselves and search our heart and thoughts, not start a fight or disagrement with a pastor who is just explaining (with a lot of love, patiënte and nuance) how God intend it to be.
Think about Job. When Job was leaning on his own understanding, he could possibly not UNDERSTAND. He didn’t know about the spiritual warfare, the devil that was after him, that God was SO involved in his life and still had a plan and took care of him, he was convinced God left him. Nothing made sense. He took it up with God, with his lack of understanding he filled with his mind the blank spaces trying to make sense of it all and wanted to make a case to God. ‘I would present my case before Him, And fill my mouth with arguments.’
After God talked to Job, Job realized something so profound. But God didn’t answer any of his questions about the ‘WHY’’ :
‘Then Job answered the Lord and said: “I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’ “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, And repent in dust and ashes.”’
Job 42:1-6 NKJV
He has uttered what he did not understand! Things to wonderful for him, which he did not know! He had seen God and he didn’t need an answer to his why’s anymore. He understood that God was FOR Him and God knows better and His ways go so much highe.
Therefore the Word says and this is so so serious:
‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.’
First, and I share this with love in my heart, from my own lack of understanding and the mistakes that I have made in this area, as a woman.
I’ve prayed on this matter because I struggled with this and by the grace of the Lord He has given me insights in the depths and the importance on WHY we should submit to our husbands as into the Lord.
The devil came to Eve, not to Adam, to tempt her. He spoke a few words and those words created a distrust and doubt in her mind. She acted on this because. Now she gave the fruit to Adam and he eat it too. And the man, not the woman, is till this day by name accountable for the sin. His name is mentioned, not Eve.
‘When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.’
Romans 5:12 NLT
Do we, as woman, understand how MUCH responsibility a husband has? How much he NEEDS respect to keep going. How much further he has to think to be able to protect his family in a dark world full of spiritual warfare?
Do you wanna take this matter up to God and make a case because you think you know better!!! Humble yourself please.
The fact is: this order is for a very good reason. You may not agree or do not understand but you need to trust God in this. He is only protecting you, also from yourself and your lack of knowledge, because if you think you know better that’s where de devil comes in to bring doubt in your mind and he wants te you to look down on your husband and distrust him and doubt the fact that he makes a choice in your best interest to protect you and he sees things differently. He suppose to see it different then you. This is by Gods design, because your husbands role is to protect you.
Now understand this too: we woman are by our hormones way more emotional and in our feelings. We can stay in the surface, while men think more rational and logical and way more far ahead. This is how God designed it. Both are important if you use it to fulfill your God given roll. You need your emotions and feelings to take good care of your childeren and to be able to be the helper for your husband first and for your surrounding. This in original language is the “ezer kendego” which is such a deep spiritual and worthy calling, you should be proud of that and dive into that to understand better instead of fighting against it.
I had to humble myself all the way down to my knees and I had to repent of my ways. Deeply. Because just as Job, I did not understand and I did not know things too wonderful for me.
When I was leaning on my own understanding about this matter, I disobeyed God. I did not trust Him with my whole heart and I did not trust my husband with my whole heart and I did not want to submit; therefore I showed him I did not respect him. I was thinking I knew better, he became so frustrated that I could not understand and I kept swimming in my own feelings and emotions, not seeing what he was trying to do or what he meant (that was to protect me) when he spoke all I did was misunderstand his words and came to my own conclusion. Trying to find support in the WORLD (who is btw not for your marriage). The world stands behind the so said “abused” woman saying she should not accept this and should be happy. The woman keeps stuck in the feeling of how unloved she feels by her man, but fails to understand how she created this by an ongoing attitude of showing no respect and this, I don’t say this lightly, is playing out at so many levels. Thinking you know better and forcing a way is one of them. Correcting and criticize, making your own choices instead of discussing, the list is ongoing.
And in the whole proces the devil is going to use all of this and makes you believe that your husband is bad. Does not care. Does not love you. He is wrong you are right. You deserve better. Makes you doubt. Look down on him. And you follow your emotions and feelings instead of Gods word.
I say this as I lived this and I want us to remember: the fight is NOT against flesh and blood. That means not against your husband. The spiritual warfare is so real and it goes so much further then we can see.
Keep praying and keep trusting God and do not lean on your own understanding.
Hi, thank you for reading and commenting. You’ve covered a lot here, but your last points about the battle being spiritual in nature, with the resulting need to pray and trust God are so important. Thank you for this helpful reminder.